I might only be sharing a monthly bumpdate, but I’m still taking weekly photos to share on Instagram — and to preserve for the baby book — so I figured I would catch up at the beginning of each update post. Here are our weekly photos since we last checked on baby.
I’m coming to you a few days early and with one less photo than usual, because WE’RE HAVING A BABY THIS WEEK! It’s still so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that we’re only a handful of days away from meeting this little one. Obviously we knew it was coming, but these last few weeks have gone by so fast?! For any mama who has suffered a previous loss, there is this nagging sense of doubt in the back of your mind and it’s completely fascinating to find yourself at the end, in a place you were worried you might never be. For all of my struggles and concerns this year, it has been a relatively easy pregnancy and I have enjoyed almost every moment!
Today’s post is extra long, given it’s our last bumpdate of the year. My feelings won’t be hurt if you skip out on this entirely, but you might want to grab an extra cup of coffee if you plan to stick around!
BODY + HEALTH
Now that I’m in the home stretch, I can admit how terrified I’ve been of this last few weeks. My plan, this entire pregnancy, had been to work out right up until delivery and when those plans were dashed way earlier than I intended, I was so worried I would fall apart. I was worried I would gain 20+ pounds in the last six weeks and that my body would change beyond repair. Let me go ahead and state the obvious — it matters to me how this pregnancy affects my body. Yes, every stretch mark and patch of cellulite (so much cellulite?!) and extra pound left over will be totally worth it. I’m not vain and I’ll take a body that looks like a road map in exchange for this beautiful life, but after working my butt off for almost eighteen months, I was sad to think I might not find my way back to that place. I think I’ve had a pretty healthy mindset this entire time. I haven’t starved myself — I’ve eaten all the things I loved, not counted calories or been super restrictive — and I worked out as long as I possibly could. At my 38 week appointment, I asked my doctor for my total weight gain this pregnancy (I couldn’t remember if they would weigh me when I checked into L&D or not). I started out at 149 lbs, which sounds kind of heavy for me, especially since the gym scales say something closer to 138. Honestly, I’m not bothered by a number — my clothes fit (at least they did in January!) so well, I’m between a size four and six which is a great size for me, and I had much more muscle tone than I ever had before. It’s crazy to think about how much smaller I was at 149 than I was at 130 a few years ago?! Anyway, I’ve been right at 166 lbs for three weeks, with very little fluctuation. I’m guessing I could have gained a pound or so since my last appointment, but I’m calling it. My doctor said it was the perfect amount for this pregnancy (it’s half of what I gained with the girls) and that she thinks it will come off pretty quickly after delivery.
The hardest part of the last few weeks has been some pretty intense back pain. The baby was head down for a long time and then a month or so ago, it moved into more of a diagonal position (I’m basing this on movement and the doctor’s speculation — I haven’t had an ultrasound since 20 weeks). Sometime last week, baby got back into a deep, head down position and I’ve had way more pressure than before. It seems like the weight is pinching a nerve in my right hip and lower back, making it very difficult to walk. I’m actually embarrassed about the way I move right now and try to do it as seldom as possible. Work was really hard last week and I ended up only working half days in the office, because I was much more comfortable laying down.
I’m also struggling with a few other pregnancy related symptoms that aren’t so fun to discuss. All of the pressure in my back and bottom are causing some not-so-pretty things to occur below the belt. I’m so ready to have a normal, functioning body again! Acid reflux has also returned and I’ve learned it’s so stupid to eat bacon for dinner?! In fact, it’s 2:53 a.m. as I type this post — my entire chest was on fire when I woke up at 1:45, so I decided to be productive and hammer out a few last minute blog posts!
EMOTIONS
Basically, I’m on high alert. This isn’t so different from the rest of my pregnancy — the entire journey has been pretty emotional. Some days are better than others, but this last week has been a mix of really raw moments and some that are so sweet, they take my breath away. Josh has been working like crazy the last month or so and we haven’t gotten to spend much time together. I’m irrationally lonely and while that isn’t his fault exactly, I find myself taking it out on him. On the other end of the spectrum, I get crazy emotional when I think about the days to come. I can’t wait to meet this little one in the delivery room, I’m overwhelmed to think about introducing baby to the girls, and I’m just so happy to think about how our life will look in a week’s time.
I had some pretty special moments at work last week, which helped to balance out the stress of working overtime and preparing for maternity leave. I’ve been really overwhelmed this year (are you sensing a theme here?), about taking extra time off during a very busy season, about some transitions at work that left me worried about my position, and a lot of downtime, which I am very much used to. I have had so many of our partners approach me this week, with both well wishes and confirmation that I will be very missed over the next few months. I know that many mamas dream of staying at home and as much as I will miss days at home with baby, I thrive on being productive and love my job so much. I love knowing I will be missed and that they are all worried about surviving without me there.
JOSH + THE GIRLS
The girls are getting more excited as the days go by. We’re trying to get all of their makeup work taken care of ahead of time and plan to have their schedules as normal as possible in the coming days. Middle school throws a wrench into our plans — Ella has so much more to focus on this year and we’re trying for her not to miss too many days of classes. She’s torn between being at the hospital every day and missing more work than she thinks necessary. She’s been such a huge help and is so conscientious about her work at home and school.
Does Scoop count as one of the girls? She’s been extra clingy the last week or so and it’s kind of driving me crazy. We had gotten to the place where she slept in her own bed and only got up in bed with us first thing in the morning to snuggle. Now, she wants to be right on top of (or underneath?!) me and I don’t have enough room as it is. We’re boarding her for the week and I’m hoping a little separation will be good for us both. I’m anxious about how she’ll adjust to baby and if she’ll be too clingy, but I am confident we will figure it all out.
How Far Along Are You? 39 weeks this Wednesday
Total Weight Gain: I think I covered this sufficiently above, but I’m ending pregnancy with a total weight gain of 17 pounds.
Maternity Clothes? Obviously, maternity clothes is all I have left to wear. The last few weeks have been a struggle when it comes to work clothes — my belly grew a lot over the last few weeks and most of my remaining tops are snug. I’m recycling the same few outfit options and so thrilled to be at home and wearing sweats for the foreseeable future!
Stretch Marks? I have a few on my lower belly, but I’m pretty sure they are from a previous pregnancy. I’ve been lucky this time that my body hasn’t undergone too many changes.
How Are You Sleeping? On the days I don’t wake up at 3 a.m., I’m sleeping great. About half the time, I’m waking up between three and four, so I’ve just started getting up and getting started with my day. It means I have to go to bed a lot earlier, but it feels like a waste of my time to toss and turn for two hours?!
Best Moment of the Week? Leaving the office on Friday, knowing that it would be a really long time before I go back. I’m actually going to miss the work itself, but I’m looking forward to an extended break, lots of family time, and starting the holiday season at home.
Worst Moment of the Week? The intense back pain that started at the beginning of the week. I’m not sure this is a moment exactly, but it’s definitely the worst thing I’ve dealt with since the last time I checked in.
Obsessing Over: My hospital bag and whether or not I have everything packed that I need!
Movement? This week’s movement is decidedly different, but still pretty intense. Baby doesn’t have much room to move, so every elbow is sharper and the head butts are almost debilitating. The girls are fascinated with how big the movements seem these days, but my belly is stretched so taut that everything seems exaggerated.
Food Cravings: I’m still wishing I could avoid food altogether. I did meet Jennifer for Shake Shack last Wednesday and it was the best meal I can remember in recent history. On the flip side, we had breakfast for dinner on Thursday and I was up pretty much all night long, thanks to the bacon. I think I could live on coffee and cheese toast for the next few days.
Belly Button In or Out? So very out and visible through almost everything I wear.
Things I Will Miss Least About Pregnancy? Hip pain, sleepless nights without a baby to snuggle, a hard month at work preparing for my leave.
Things I Will Miss Most About Pregnancy? All of the people in my life who have gone above and beyond to help care for us in the past few weeks.
Gender? I am so stinking excited to find out! It’s crazy to think that in a matter of days, we’ll finally know who we’re welcoming into our family. Whether or not we know what we’re having is the number one question I get from strangers these days and it’s closely followed by, do you have a feeling?! I honestly don’t have a feeling, but I can’t decide if it’s because it isn’t there or because I haven’t allowed myself to dwell on this question. My default pronoun is she/her, but that’s to be expected given our current family breakdown. I will be equally thrilled with either, but I know that they will feel so different from one another. Follow along on Instagram this week for the big news!
Now for a comparison shot. I still think I was a little lower with Sophie at 39 weeks than I am with this baby and, WOAH, look how much farther that thing stuck out! Overall, I’m really proud of how my body has adapted to pregnancy this go around, even though I’m completely nervous about how I’ll look next week. And if the handful of comparison shots you’ve seen so far aren’t enough, be on the lookout for a week by week comparison, on the blog later this week.
Happy Labor Day!
