I didn’t mean to take a week (plus!) off from the blog, but I had a string of really crappy days and just haven’t felt like posting very much. I’m still getting used to this new normal and both the blog and Instagram have taken a back burner. I do have several great posts planned for this week (maybe 5 if I can keep from falling asleep at my desk), so this week should be mostly back to business.
I promised this Q + A post a few weeks ago, so let’s delve into how I’m feeling, how we discovered our pregnancy, and what we’re most looking forward to this year!
Were you trying to get pregnant? Ummm, absolutely not. Early in our marriage, we thought we would try for three babies, but at some point along the way we decided that two girls was just perfect. There have been times when each of us thought a third baby sounded lovely, but we’ve never been on the same page at the same time. We were perfectly content with our family of four, but are profoundly grateful that God had other plans.
Why were you not preventing it?! For those of you not as familiar with our background, we didn’t have the easiest time getting pregnant with our girls. I hesitate to use the word infertility, because that tends to mean different things to different people, and I would never want to minimize the journey of any woman who is still struggling to start a family. We did have to take fertility meds with both girls (Clomid worked great for us both times, so we didn’t have to go any further down the fertility treatment rabbit hole) and it took 18 months and 6 months, respectively, to conceive. All of that to say, when we decided not to expand our family any further, I opted not to take birth control. We’ve joked that we are unable to conceive without help for years and my OB cautioned me against being so free-spirited about the whole thing. Natural family planning has worked great for us for twelve years and if it weren’t for a minor calendar miscalculation, it would probably still be working just fine!
Are you going to prevent another pregnancy moving forward? Absolutely. I can’t tell you what we would do if we lost this pregnancy, because I’ve gotten used to the idea of a larger family. However, assuming all goes will with this little one, I’ll be having my tubes died after delivery.
When/How did you find out? I hate to be too personal, but the fact of the matter is, my cycle is super regular. I use an app to track it (and have for almost 5 years) and I literally start my cycle within moments of waking on the day the app tells me I will. After being a few days late, I was mildly concerned, but thought it might have something to do with my diet or exercise regimen. I didn’t really get concerned until an entire week went by and I bought a pregnancy test (in secret!) on the way home from work one night. I took it after the girls left for school on Thursday, January 11th, and the plus sign showed up long before the control line. Basically, it yelled at me immediately. I woke Josh up in tears and the rest is history. The tears were more about being overwhelmed than disappointed — I was just SO SHOCKED. I took a mental health day and spent the day at my sister’s… holding her baby. Ha!
How far along are you? I was over 5 weeks along when we discovered our pregnancy, 8 weeks when we made the announcement, and eleven weeks pregnant this week.
Are you showing? The photo above was taken at 8 weeks, so there wasn’t much to see. These days there is a definite bump and it’s more obvious in the evening, than it is when I first wake up. I’ll be sharing weekly bump photos starting at twelve weeks (next week!), so you’ll get to see the progression, up close and personal.
So, when are you due? Our due date is September 12th, one day after Ella’s 12th birthday! Since we’ll be having a repeat C-section, we will likely deliver the week of Labor Day. How fitting.
Why did you share the news so early? We didn’t actually plan to share the news until 12 or 13 weeks, but our secret was getting a little difficult to hide. We had already been to the doctor four times by the time we shared, so our employers were probably getting a little suspicious of our schedules. I was also really sick and sleeping around the clock, so it wasn’t easy to hide from the girls or my parents, since we all live in the same house. Once we had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat for the first time, we decided to share the news with the girls. They aren’t the best secret keepers so once a few weeks had past, we began to worry that they would let it slip before we could share the news with Josh’s parents. Even though there was a chance we might still lose the baby (I also have a history of early miscarriage), we knew we would likely share that news and we wanted the girls (and us!) to celebrate every single day that we could.
Why did you see the doctor so many times? Because we miscarried twice between the girls, we are considered at a higher risk for miscarriage this time around. My doctor didn’t want me to wait three whole weeks to get some peace of mind, so she had me come in for bloodwork to confirm my hormone levels were increasing fast enough. After the second round of bloodwork, my levels actually seemed too high, so they brought me in for an ultrasound. Josh wasn’t with me, because they called during the day and asked me to come straight to the hospital! They didn’t expect to be able to hear the heartbeat, but there it was — loud and strong. I’m on a low dosage of aspirin until week 16 and we are now back on a regular schedule of seeing the doctor every four weeks.
What about your age? Well, I just turned 38, which puts me well into the advanced maternal age arena. With that, comes a few extra appointments, some recommended genetic testing, and a whole lot more stress and worry.
Are you having genetic testing? While I am refusing an amnio or placental biopsy, we are doing the bloodwork/ultrasound testing, which will show markers for several different things. In early March, we’ll test for chromosomal abnormalities — like Down Syndrome and Trisomy — and later in the summer they’ll test for Spina Bifida. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the possibilities, but I’ve had a remarkable sense of peace about this entire pregnancy and I can’t let fear and worry taint all of the wonderful moments. We’ll cross those hurdles as they arrive and deal with the hand we’re dealt. It definitely won’t change how we handle this pregnancy, it will just (hopefully) prevent any surprises on delivery day!
Are you finding out the gender? Well, I guess there will be one surprise on delivery day, because we are not planning to find out the gender this time around. We are much more relaxed in our old age and having the nursery completely gender-fied just doesn’t appeal to either of us this time around. We’re going completely neutral, picking out a name for each, and hoping that my sister can join us in the operating room to photograph our reactions.
Do you have a feeling — boy or girl? Josh and I both new that the girls were girls, without a doubt. We both had very strong feelings that were confirmed at twenty weeks. I’m a little hesitant to say how I feel (for fear of I told you sos), but I will say that this pregnancy feels EXACTLY like my previous two, as of eleven weeks. I’ll be interested to see how I carry and if my symptoms change at all in the coming weeks, but for now we’re all leaning towards girl.
Do you have a preference? This is kind of a hot button issue for me, so I almost skipped this question altogether. I know that most people have really good intentions, but there seems to be this pervasive thought that all mothers need a daughter and all fathers need a son. We are both praying for a healthy, happy baby and we have no other desires or expectations. I get a little testy when people say things like I hope Josh gets “his” boy, as if somehow he is unfulfilled by daughters. Short answer? No preference here!
What names are you considering? While we have picked out a few names that we love, we’re planning to keep them to ourselves for now. I wouldn’t say they are a “secret,” but we likely won’t share them on the internet before delivery day. I’m surprised at how settled we feel with them both and would be very surprised if they change between now and September. We’re operating with the same formula with did for the girls: incorporate a family name, call them by their first name, keep the first name as short as possible.
How are you feeling? If you follow me on Instagram, I’m guessing you already know I’m pretty miserable. I hate even answering this question, because I feel like complaining makes me sound ungrateful, but I haven’t had the easiest first trimester. I get sick every time I brush my teeth — every time — just like I did with both girls. I have a terrible taste in my mouth at all times, which makes finding something that tastes good very difficult. I can’t keep water down, so I’m drinking mostly unsweet tea and an occasional smoothie or glass of juice. I’m probably slightly dehydrated, but I’m doing the best I can to keep it under control. I’m also sleeping a lot and not a very productive member of my household. I’m hoping to turn the corner very soon and feel more like myself in a few more weeks.
Any cravings or aversions? I’m not a big fan of meat, on its own, right now. I can do it as a part of a larger meal — think chicken salad, soup, pasta with chicken, etc. — but the thought of cutting and eating a piece of meat is repulsive. Cheese is delicious, so I’ve been snacking on sharp cheddar and crackers and picked up some pimiento cheese over the weekend to try. I’m definitely on a carb-heavy diet at the moment and hoping that green vegetables sound good again soon!
Are you still working out? I’m still heading to Orangetheory three days a week, but my workouts looks a little different. I’m running much slower — it’s hard to catch my breath! — and doing a little power walking some days, too. I’ve completely eliminated ab exercises and have replaced those with core work that doesn’t require me to lay on my back. I’ve stopped wearing my heartrate monitor, because I wasn’t getting any splat points and was tired of staring at the OTB screen the entire workout. I’m just listening to my body and staying as active as I can, for as long as I can.
That covers most of the questions I’ve gotten via comments, emails, and actual conversations, but if there is anything I missed, feel free to let me know! If I get more questions in the comments today, I’ll update this post throughout the week. Happy Monday, friends!
