Dear Ella,
In just a few days, you’re going to be ten years old. Double digits. That’s big time, Ella. How did it even happen? Your daddy and I talk all the time about how life is blazing by without any care for what we think. I swear we were just bringing you home from the hospital a few weeks ago.
Your daddy and I prayed for you for so long. I know that other mommies wait longer and pray harder and we certainly didn’t have it the worst, but we really wanted to be parents and we thought that day might not ever arrive. We had been waiting for almost eighteen months when I woke up feeling different. Your daddy was out of town, so I didn’t tell him right away, but I raced to the doctor’s office on my lunch break to confirm. Usually, it would have taken a few days to get the results back, but our sweet nurse had them rushed and she called me that afternoon while I was driving home. I remember exactly where I was — on the rickety old bridge by your elementary school — and I cried the rest of the drive home. It would be three more days before your daddy was home and I kept you my secret during those days. I remember climbing into his lap that night and finally telling him he would be a daddy soon. You might not have been in our arms yet, but Ella, you were already the daughter of our heart.
It has been such a privilege to watch you grow and learn over the last ten years. I am constantly amazed by how smart and talented you are and I will never get tired of watching you dance. You have the best sense of humor and the greatest wit and you are always full of hilarious stories. You are incredibly strong — you have so much strength and power packed into your tiny body. You are brave and sincere and so kind. The way you treat your friends and feel for others in terrible situations impresses me so much. I never have to worry about how you’ll treat your friends and you are the greatest big sister ever.
As much fun as the last ten years have been, I don’t wish we could turn back time. I loved that tiny baby and that teetering toddler and that sassy four year old, but every year is even more fun than the one before and I can’t imagine that will change any time soon. I love each and every stage. It sometimes feels like getting to know you all over again and I can’t consider that anything other than amazing. I look forward to all the things we’ll continue to learn together and I can’t wait to watch you become a teenager, an adult, a wife and a mom.
Ella, thank you for teaching me how to be a mom. I had no idea what I was doing and I’m sure I messed up a ton. Thank you for your patience and your forgiveness and your love. I hope one day you’ll be able to understand just how much your daddy and I love you.
xoxo,
your mama
