Remember way back in September when I wrote a letter to my sixteen year old self? What if we wrote to our future selves instead? I’m linking up with Kiki at In It’s Time for the Circle Link Up. I saw Leah share her letter yesterday and I couldn’t help but to write one of my very own. Be sure to visit them both and see what all they had to share with their future selves.
Dear Future Kristin,
It pains me to say this, but HOW are you forty-six? I remember when you turned twenty-six and thirty-six and both times you just felt old. I hope your forties are the best decade ever and that you finally feel comfortable in your skin and okay with aging and proud of all you’ve accomplished. No matter where you’ve found yourself, I bet you can’t believe you’ve been alive that long either.
This year marks the end of Ella’s first year of college (hopefully) and the first year you’ve had Sophie all to yourself. How is that going for you? Seriously, 37-year-old Josh and I just had a conversation last week about how that whole college thing was going to sneak up on us. Even though we were married for four years when she arrived, I have a hard time remembering what life was like without her. I’m not ready to even think about her moving away, much less living through it. I bet you’re doing great at letting go (you were never really the clingy type), but I’m guessing you shed a tear or two. And Sophie! She’s probably driving already and soaking up every minute of your undivided attention now that she can.
I hope you’re reading this letter at Granmom’s dining room table in the sunroom at the log house. I know how frustrating it was waiting for your first house to sell, so I hope you are treasuring every solid minute in the one you love so much. If for some reason you’re not there yet or you’ve managed to move on to something else already, I hope wherever you are is perfect for you and has great natural light and that you aren’t having to share a bathroom with anyone else. You deserve that.
How is Josh? Are you still convincing him to dance at concerts with kids half your age or has he finally won that battle? You know what? Don’t listen to him. Music is your thing and as long as you have legs to stand on and ears to hear, you should just keep right on dancing. Who cares if everyone else there is one of the girl’s age?! You’ll have stacks upon stacks of memories to share and the best concert tee collection ever (you haven’t thrown those away, right?!). I hope you’re still traveling together on a regular basis. It’s probably easier for you than it is for us. I hope you’ve stored away a nest egg big enough to fund last minute excursions and oversea adventures. I hope you’ve taken the girls to the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls and somewhere that requires crossing an ocean. Traveling with them as little people is so much fun, but I bet where you are it’s even better.
When you look back on your thirties, I hope you’ll remember the best parts. I hope you’ll remember being creative and making the best friends of your life and learning how to be a parent on the hardest days. I want you to know that getting your junk together and eating good food is the best decision you’ve ever made. If you even think about going back to the way things were before, I’m going to be so mad at you. I want you to take better care of yourself than I did. I want you to run and laugh and do hard things. I want you to push yourself and prove that you don’t have to be twenty to be beautiful. Prove it to yourself if no one else.
I hope you are still madly in love with your Savior. I hope you are still attending that same church, but that you’re a little more comfortable and a little less intimidated. I want you to have made friends and have watched your children fall in love with worship and to find it all a more integral part of your life.
I hope in your forties you are surrounded by good friends. I hope you’ve figured out how to be the kind one and the inclusive one and the encouraging one. I hope you’ve rekindled a few long-lost friendships that I’ve been so worried about and that you’ve nurtured a few that are still brand new to me. I hope you have discovered a tribe of women so important in your life that it’s hard to remember what those friendless years were like.
I just want you to be happy and healthy and whole out there in the future. I want you to be proud of everything you did. I want you to have learned from all of my mistakes and to have made big dreams happen. I can’t wait to get there and hear all about it.
xoxo,
Your thirty-six-year-old self
