Early in the day yesterday, I looked at my blog calendar to see what was on tap. I somehow managed to skip Wednesday’s post and I had a “flashback Friday” lined up for today. Something about that didn’t feel quite right.
Later in the afternoon, I had a spare minute and decided to grab a quick moment in the Word. My process for daily devotion is different every day. Sometimes I get up early in the morning and have an hour of journaling time before work. Some days, I bring my Bible and a small bag of supplies to work and I fit it into my lunch hour or an afternoon break. Other times, it is squeezed in between dinner and bath time, just in time for bed. The method is different sometimes, too. I fluctuate between She Reads Truth and Jesus Calling, with a few random devotions in between. Sometimes I rework a passage that I’m not happy with. Song lyrics speak to me on my morning commute and inspire me to find a corresponding verse. Yesterday, I spent time in Luke pretty early in the day — it was one of my favorite SRT Lenten days so far. Since I had time to double up, I looked to the Jesus Calling app the second time I opened my Bible. The title was “Waiting on Me”.
Waiting on me means directing your attention to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do. It entails trusting Me with ever fiber of your being, instead of trying to figure things out yourself. Waiting on Me is the way I designed you to live: all day, every day. I created you to stay conscious of Me as you go about your daily duties.
I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, living above one’s circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual Presence. Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will. It also helps you to enjoy Me; in My Presence is fullness of joy.
When I opened my Bible to Lamentations 3:24, I realized that I had already journaled that page earlier this month. The ESV translation says “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will hope in Him.” The version I read in Jesus Calling yesterday said “therefore I will WAIT for Him.”
It is no coincidence that I’ve now read these passages twice in a matter of months. If you’ve been reading for long, you’ll know we have been in a bit of a holding pattern regarding our home and where we felt like God was leading us to settle {we think permanently, but we’ll leave that up to God}. It has been a year of fits and starts. We have looked at countless homes, drawn up our own house plans and talked long into the night about our dreams and where we hope to find ourselves. Every time I felt like a real possibility was within our grasp, I heard the word WAIT.
Waiting is hard. Patience has never been my strong suit; I’m an instant-gratification kind of girl. I don’t save my money, I don’t ponder over decisions, I cut off all my hair on a whim and I am quick to fall in love with ideas. I like things on my schedule and I find it difficult to be still and be led. This isn’t the first time God has tried to teach me this lesson. We waited for two long years on Ella and another two for Sophie. God has always been in the business of halting my steps. Why am I so surprised that he’s done it again?
I’m hesitant to tell you that we have it all figured out, because I know where that has gotten me in the past. What I will tell you is that I hear Him saying, “You won’t be waiting much longer.” We are making progress and figuring things out and it’s exciting and nerve-wracking and some days I just like to avoid thinking about it altogether. But I know that His plan is coming together. Slowly, but surely.
There is a house — a home — that He means for us to grow old and grey in. A place to rock on the front porch and celebrate holidays and decorate and renovate. I’m pretty sure I know exactly where it sits, but I’m going to do a little more waiting for now.
