Have you wondered why I haven’t shared my Christmas decorations with you yet? Why there aren’t any pretty pictures of our decorated tree? It’s because I’ve been debating whether or not to drag it forcibly through the front door and toss it into the street.
Against my better judgment, I decided this year was going to be more about the “experience” and less about the actual tree. We went to a beautiful, local tree farm and picked out a gorgeous Carolina Sapphire cedar tree. It stood tall and fat and was a beautiful sage-y green color. I figured at half the price and twice the adventure it was surely worth it. A tree I {meaning SD} cut down with my own hands has to last longer that the pricier one we usually pick up pre-cut at a local tent, right?
Fast forward two hours. As SD is putting the tree stand on, the trunk splits. Now I’ll admit this was at least partially his fault for not noticing that the tree stand was a little larger than the hole drilled into the bottom. On the other hand, it would seem this was a little foreshadowing of things to come. We opted to wire the tree to the ceiling, not because we feared it would fall, but because I wanted to use my star lantern that was too heavy for the tree. Thank goodness for that epiphany or we would have been greeted on day two with a sprawling tree and a bucket of water in our living room floor.
The tree began to lean to the left, pulling the branches over heavy with ornaments, held only in place by the star lantern filled with the end of one strand of lights. SD was working out of town, so we said a little prayer each day that the star and two blue wire ties would do the trick. On Saturday, he bought two additional clamps and leveled the tree out. Unfortunately, in the five days it was crooked, the branches dried permanently in a left-ward curve. I decided I could live with it. It was personality, right?
These days, the limbs are sagging and ornaments are crashing into one another. Presents are in danger. It’s likely a fire hazard and the only thing supporting the heavy limbs are the hideous cables of lights strapped around the tree. Y’all, it’s a disaster. A lemon. I would cry if it wasn’t so funny. So tomorrow we’re cashing our chips and calling it quits. This tree is getting the boot and were going to somehow manage to survive Christmas with an artificial tree this year. I’m not happy about it, but I can’t justify buying another tree inside ten days and at least I know this one won’t die or come crashing down while I’m at work.
I’ve decided to share a little video tour of the tree that causes me such stress. Please keep in mind, that she actually looks pretty cute in the video. All lit up and sparkly. It’s all for show, she’s a pretty good actress and looks can be deceiving.
