So my post was originally titled “The Perfect Day”. Then I read this post while waiting on my pictures to upload and was reminded that despite the fact we are determined, I am determined to post about the most perfect parts of my life, it remains imperfect and stressful. I have bad days. I had one today.
Then when I compare what I consider ‘bad’ to all of the other things that could be going on in my life today, I am humbled. I have a home and food in my pantry. I have a reliable car that gets me back and forth to work everyday. I have a career that supports my family and allows my husband to do what he loves. I have a beautiful child, whom I prayed desperately for, that fills my life with such wonderful moments. A Father in heaven. Saving grace. Eternity with Him.
Although there are so many things that people I know are going through, that I don’t identify with and might never understand, my life isn’t only the happy pictures posted every day. I struggle. I cry. I ask questions. I’ve dealt with things I never dreamed I would have to. I hurt. I grieve. I want another baby.
I read an email today that reminded me of why I started this blog. Our scrapbooks and photo albums are full of photographs. Snapshots reminding us of births and parties, vacations and holidays. If someone we didn’t know flipped through those pages they would think we “live at Disney and open presents everyday”. I began posting because I wanted to preserve a more realistic picture of our everyday lives, the little things that won’t make it into the baby book or the photo album. I think somewhere along the way I began to edit those moments and this blog is starting to resemble those scrapbooks.
I don’t apologize for the abundance of happy posts and pretty pictures, the lists of things I’m thankful for. What I am sorry for is painting a picture of a perfect family and a perfect life. It is by God’s grace alone that I am blessed with a family to speak of. It is because of Him, I have the strength to share. I’m starting to learn that transparency is rewarded. Other moms need to know when we struggle and when we question and when we grieve. I have learned so much from those of you who share your most intimate moments with perfect strangers. I hope that I can be brave enough to follow in your footsteps.
Below are the photos from my original Perfect Day post. They seem a little unrelated to the post now, but boy were the moments they capture wonderful.
